no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize