He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
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he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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