I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
