i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
