Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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