Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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