He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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