Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm at about main and main street
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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