I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
