So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
