Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
even my farts smell like vagina
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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