There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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