so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
