my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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