yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize