She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
