I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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