it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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