tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
