i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
