i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
