He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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