it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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