So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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