and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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