where am i from again
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
