you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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