I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
