i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My feet surprised me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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