My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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