it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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