69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
