it was like his penis was on wheels.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
high people should be assigned attendants
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize