So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize