its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
