I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
