we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
