I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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