My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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