I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
