dude i'm inner monologue high
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
