Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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