i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize