Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
