so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
