i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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