I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
