if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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