I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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