I showed him my bush... on skype.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize