I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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