it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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