How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
