Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
