Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
