sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
