I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize